One pound heavier and I'm getting checked out. Wait! What?

Alright. So, the book was a no show at Borders today. I had to reserve it. Slightly re-thinking my decision on the book though. I really don't want to be on a "diet diet" per say. Just want to eat healthy. I know how diet back-fire looks, and it's not pretty.

Hit the gym today. I burned about 750ish calories. Weighed myself and further realized that I can never eat brownies again. I'm back to 171lbs, gah.

I didn't eat breakfast today because well....I kind of slept through it. I did go to subway for lunch and ate a turkey sandwich on wheat bread. So, that ranges to about 355 calories with cheese. Then for dinner I had vegetable stew with fat free saltines. Not really sure how many calories that is, but it doesn't seem too awful.

School seems like it's just around the corner. I really wish you could just wish fat away, cause then...I really would. Wouldn't a lot of people though? [mhm.]

I really should pull my head out of dream world and into reality. It's going to take time and dedication. I will get there though! No turning back now.

Oh and also, some guy was semi-stalking and eye fallowing me today in Borders. Either he thought I was some huge elephant that should be in the diet section and couldn't keep his eyes away...or maybe he was actually looking at me?! I'll go with option two...can I say that I felt pretty good about myself? :]

When weightloss hits a stand-still.

I really feel like I have the lowest metabolism in the world. I eat two brownies and I gain a pound? What is up with that? Gr. I don't want to diet, I really don't. I just want to eat healthier and make lifestyle changes. But this weight loss is becoming ridiculous. I lose 4 pounds in almost two months. How depressing is that? Not really a huge motivator if you ask me. I guess I really do have to go on a diet to see the results I'm looking for.

I exercise 5 times a week and I don't eat junk food. [Well, besides the occasional two brownies, which only happened once in two months!] Not that I'm trying to defend my decision to eat the brownies, but I think it's pretty good under the circumstances.

Bleh. I just want to be 130. [lol] Is 40 pounds asking too much? [Yeah, I think so].

My mom told me about this book she just found out about. The one I guess Jessica Simpson used to lose the weight. Something about 5, I know that.

-googled it.-

www.5FactorDiet.com

Okay, so It's the 5-factor fitness and 5-factor diet by Harley Pasternak.
I am buying it today. Even though I think it's kind of embarrassing. Of course a fat girl is going to be buying the diet book [hence the weight], but I still can't avoid the looks of people. And trust me, I know they're there.

Hopefully this book can help me lose the weight.

I'll let you know how the book is and the progress I make why trying it out.

Wish me luck! :]


LOVE || l i z z y

Brownies [equal] evil.

I felt huge today. I've actually been doing pretty good with eating healthy. But boy oh boy. Today, I cheated. I had two brownies! They were just so tempting and I haven't had sweats in about a month now. I don't feel completely horrible, but I still feel fat. Not that I'm not already fat, but I feel even bigger. Hopefully I worked it off while at the beach today. And let's just say some pretty good looking beach-volleyball guys kind of inspired me not to eat anything else. Like I could ever land a guy like that. In my dreams, yes. Maybe by the end of the year it could be possible to at least land a guy? Wow, I sound like a real sixteen year old, "land a guy." What are they, planes? Aha. Anyways. So far on my journey to well being, I’ve lost 2 pounds! Yay. After about two weeks. [not say “Yay”.] Better than nothing I guess.

People misconstrue that the pounds are just going to melt off easily. [like I had thought] But it really takes a lot of work. Sure, I could try one of those “fad diets”, but where would that get me? Lose 20 pounds then gain back 40 when I’m off the diet? Ha, I’ll stick to slowly melting away. :]


LOVE || l i z z y

Why bigger isn't always better.

Big question: Why am I trying to lose weight?

I ask myself this from time to time. I find that most of my answers lean towards society and fitting in, when really it should be about myself. Pleasing myself is a big part of why I'm doing this, but there’s also reasons that I just can’t avoid thinking about.

Like...

I’ve always been the fat best friend. You know..in a group of girls there’s always that one fat girl. Uh-huh, it’s me, and I’m pretty tired of it.

People judge me because of my weight. I feel like I have a great personality to offer if people would just stop to get to know me. So, maybe if I were to become a more thinner me, people might actually take me seriously and want to get to know me. [how sad some people can be]

I’ve never had a serious boyfriend. Either, I have neon sign plastered on my forehead that says “don’t date the fat girl”, or I haven’t found the right guy yet. [secretly wishing it was scenario two, but hey...I guess the first one would make a lot of sense]

When you have a pug and a fat butt like me, clothes don’t look the best on you.

I’m tired of knowing that people probably insinuate me with being fat. [not that I blame them]
For example:

“Do you know that Liz girl?”

“Oh yeah, the fat one.”

And trust me, I know it happens on a regular basis.


To sum up the biggest reason of them all:

I just want to feel good in the skin I’m in.
[doesn’t everybody?]


LOVE || l i z z y